When we last spoke I shared with you that I lost my job. I was calm but devastated. I didn’t even know what to think. All I knew was: I was tired. And I had to somehow explain this to my wife.
I was fired on 4/12/13, I told her on 4/13/13. She did not take it well. She didn’t scream, didn’t shout, but I knew she felt it. Her only response was: “if you knew they were going to fire you, why weren’t you looking for other work?”
Are you serious?
I didn’t know they were going to fire me.
I didn’t know what was going to happen.
I kept believing that God would make a way out of no way. Well a way was made: out the front door!
On 4/14/13 I gave the message at my church. What I didn’t know that while I was praying and grappling with the message my wife was praying and grappling with God concerning our lives. According to her she was praying and crying. In essence, she said something like this: “God if You’re with us in this and if this is you show a sign please.” The funny thing is after I preached the church raised a love offering for me. Now mind you I’m not a guest speaker, it’s my own church, but they raised it. I guess God answered her prayer.
He was indeed in the middle of this storm with us.
The next day I was informed by wife that I (personally) was scheduled to get a large refund check . When I heard that I could hardly stand! Thank you Jesus!
5/3/13–Even though I was expecting that refund check, my income had dried up, and I wasn’t sure if I was getting unemployment. On this day I finally received it.
5/13/13–I received the Federal refund.
5/14–5/15–During this time I was really fascinated regarding this “tithing subject.” Problem was, I didn’t see much info on it. Then the idea came to me: “Why don’t you build a blog about it?” So on these two days I bought the theme and domain for tithehacker.com.
June I have to admit was pretty uneventful. Aside from looking for work, waiting for the “windows of heaven to be opened,” worrying how I was going to pay my rent, I can’t say anything intriguing happened.
In July my wife received all of her tax refund and decided to take the kids to go to Jamaica on vacation.
Yes…I kid you not. She took the kids and herself on vacation.
The rest of my funds were held up as NY state wanted to verify that my daughter was my daughter. And they wanted to take their sweet…sweet…sweet time. It wouldn’t have been that much of an issue if I was working…but as you can guess…it was. It was during this time that Tithehacker was in full swing. I had a guest post on Relevant: “What Would Happen if the Church Tithed.” Which led to an interview or two.
But personally I wasn’t feeling it. More and more I was disgusted with tithing and the lack of results. Everyday I felt the need to just quit this whole “experiment.” This was evident in a very lengthy journal entry on 07/18/13:
“Ate a bit of my tithes today. Had $80 worth of tithes and spent $20 on IHOP. The meal wasn’t even worth it! I got flabbergasted (I can’t believe I used that word) with my lack of funds and the tithe was just sitting right there. Although I must admit, the mismanagement of funds was my fault. I am convinced the windows of heaven may not happen this year. It could very well be that God will continue to test me throughout the year but am seriously unsure of any floodgates opening. Not sure if I am being deceived, doubting, or ‘in the Spirit’ but this is what I believe. Still without work and its taking its toll on self esteem. Feel like less than a man and I can’t even look my own wife in the face. She is out working all day and I sit in front of a computer in an air-conditioned room. Had a conversation with God yesterday. Asked Him to intervene, reminded Him of His Promises, and thanked Him for making a way. Still believe that He is God and He can move when He is ready.”
Is that honest enough for you?!
Now you be honest with me: what do you think? Would love to hear your thoughts